Thoughts on Food 5- Sour Cream Donuts

Hello!  I did another product review that I think is worth mentioning.  The product in question is sour cream donuts from everyone’s favorite retail chain, Wally World.

Yes, it’s true, Wally World is not known for its donuts.  Matter of fact, it’s the last thing they are known for.  However, the shroud of mystery will soon be removed!  You will know exactly where they stand on donuts.

The standard glazed, chocolate iced, and lemon iced donuts of Wally World are actually good.  While they are not as good as a donut chains would be, these ones are worth buying.  In fact, they are even better than most store bought donuts.

However, I am reviewing the sour cream glaze donuts.

Here is what they look like, so you can recognize them in the future:

donuts 1

At first I tried the donuts straight up:

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Then I tried them with coffee:

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My opinion is that, these donuts are not worth buying.  Don’t do it.  The glaze is barely even sweet.  The sour cream flavor is too subtle and not unique.

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A good food will have a lot of flavor and it will pop.  A lower quality food however, will remain bland.  These donuts did in fact, stay in their bland form in my mouth.

I tried dipping the donuts in the coffee but, that did not help them impress me either.  C’mon Wally World, it’s like you’re not even trying.

Seriously, I hope the CEO of Wal*Mart reeds this, you’re sour cream donuts can be described as, “not even trying!”

As for why I dipped the donuts in the coffee in the first place, that does in fact help improve the flavor.  Dipping a donut is like putting salt on fries, it’s what you do.  You do it for the flavor.  Period.

A coffee-dipped donut also melts the icing slightly, adding a unique perspective.  And if you like the flavor of coffee (which sane people do) then you will have your donut’s flavor and a coffee version of your donut.  Why is dipping a donut a bad thing?

Someone said to me that dipping donuts is a coastal thing, as in only people from the coasts would do that.  These coastal people were also said to have access to buttermilk bar donuts while those who are where I am do not.  Should dipping donuts be kept to the coast(s)?

I used a parenthesis on the S because, I do not know if the east coast wants to have dipped donuts.  And frankly, I am not sure that I want to know much about the east coast anyway.

I submit friends, that dipping donuts in coffee and sometimes tea should in fact, be an American thing.  A lack of buttermilk bars cannot be what determines whether or not donuts are dipped.

How would people know if donuts can be dipped without dipping them in the first place?

Wow, I kinda got off topic on this entry…please forgive my absent-minded mind.

I tried the sour cream donuts with coffee in order to see if the coffee would help the donuts taste better.  Nope, it did not.  Quite ironic indeed.  Or in other words, coffee drinking improves most foods but not all.

For some reason coffee does not go well with spicy food.  Odd.

The one thing I did like about the donuts was that by the time I got to the second one, they seemed to grow on me.  Maybe it was a bad batch or that first one was just plain terrible.  It’s hard to say.

 

I’m going to have to cut this one short friends.  Until next time.

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Thoughts on Food 4- Labor Day

Hello!  As most of my fellow Americans know, Labor Day is coming soon.  What’s the best way to celebrate Labor Day?  With an awesome party of course!  For this post, I will go over how to have a great Labor Day party!  A Café Norris exclusive!

First off, if anyone tells you that Labor Day is silly, remind them that the first Labor Day was celebrated in New York City in 1882.  This Holiday has been around for over one hundred years, that qualifies it as a legitimate tradition.

Besides, a holiday that is dedicated to American workers is definitely worth celebrating!  We are the most productive workers in the world, after all.  If you have Labor Day off, do not feel bad about celebrating it.  If you work in retail however, you might want to get the day off as soon as you can…

If you do not care to celebrate or acknowledge the spirit of the American worker, Labor Day also counts as an excuse to throw a party!  Odds are your friends and family are still missing the festivities from last Fourth of July anyway, so they will welcome another event; celebrate away.

Labor Day is an American holiday so, you will want a menu that consists of traditional American food.  What does that even mean?  Does traditional American food even exist?!  Yes, it does!

Your main entrée will be Buffalo wings.  Buffalo wings were invented in American, specifically in Buffalo, NY.  Foods that were invented in the States count as traditional American food.

The recipe for Buffalo wings consists of standard chicken wings and a sauce.  The traditional sauce that dates back to the 1940’s is equal parts butter and equal parts hot sauce.  Mix thoroughly those two ingredients and you have traditional Buffalo wings sauce.

Buffalo Wild Wings also sells their sauces by the bottle, their sauces are worthy of Labor Day.  Stop by your local Buffalo Wild Wings (or B-dubs, as some might call it) and pick up a bottle for your Labor Day event.

Aside from serving Buffalo wings, to have an awesome Labor Day serve your guests bacon cheeseburgers.  Why burgers?  Were burgers not invented in Hamburg Germany, anyway and therefore, not an American food?  Burgers were invented in Germany yes but, bacon burgers were made popular in America!

Yes, it’s true, A&W restaurants made the bacon burger popular.  I could mention on here that bacon makes every food taste ten times better or that bacon makes us all immortals but, this is the internet.  Talking about the greatness of bacon online is just like stating the obvious.

So we have the best Labor Day entrees, of bacon burgers and Buffalo wings, now you will need a salad.  Salads that contain green vegetables are well…healthy.  Health food has no place at a party (sorry, not sorry).  Instead, try fruit salad.

Apple sauce makes for a great fruit salad base so combine it with strawberries and/or strawberry Jell-O.  What could be more American than that?!

Or an alternative fruit salad, add strawberry yogurt to a bowl (only use your favorite brand) then add bananas and graham cracker crumbles.  Stir thoroughly and enjoy.

You will not need a carb for this meal, seeing as we already have burgers on the menu and burgers come with buns.  However, you could have chosen lettuce wrapped burgers…if that is the case then go with buttermilk biscuits from ALDI.

If you do want to use hamburger buns (which is tradition…Tradition!…tradition) be sure to toast and butter the buns then add some garlic.  You can use either minced garlic or garlic powder.  If you go with the powder, do not hesitate to use a generous portion.

What does one drink on Labor Day?  I am not a big drinker so, if you want booze then I will have to leave that to you.

However, I do have to say that beer ketchup is some good stuff and goes well with fries and tater tots.  And yes, I do always always always recommend having fries with burgers.  If someone wants baked potatoes with burgers, remind them that their behavior is un-American.

Potato chips also make for a great side and, are also an American tradition.

Anyway, back to drinks.  The big soft drinks like Coke, Pepsi, and Dr. Pepper were all invented in America so those are good choices.  Root Beer would work as well seeing as it is far less popular in non-American countries.

If you are looking for something other than soft drinks and black coffee, and is not booze…Lemonade is your best option.  Whether its manufactured or homemade, lemonade is the most convenient drink to serve.  And the good news is, it also tastes good.

Back to soft drinks, if you do serve them, include some ice cubes of said soda into the drinks when served.  For example, if decide to serve Pepsi on Labor Day, beforehand make some Pepsi ice cubes with your ice tray by pouring Pepsi into an empty ice tray.  These Pepsi ice cubes will make the normal Pepsi drink a lot more fun.

The next item on the menu is the most important, that being dessert!  Americans are known for their rich, decadent desserts after all so to that end, combine two or three desserts into one!

Multiple desserts in one?!  What does that mean?!  It means, brownies a la mode.

Start with your favorite brownie mix.  If you favorite includes brownies with extra fudge or brownies with peanut butter, you won’t hear me complaining.

Next, prepare homemade ice cream.  Your homemade ice cream flavors can be standard chocolate and vanilla for Labor Day.  Top the brownies with your ice cream and your awesome dessert is ready to eat!

If you have had homemade ice cream before, you can see why it is superior to the store brand ones.  Yes, it is better than all of them!  If you have not had homemade ice cream before, you are probably wondering why I recommended some common flavors like chocolate and vanilla.

First off, homemade ice cream is richer and more flavorful than anything with xantham gum in it.  If made correctly, those two flavors alone would be enough to satisfy any foody.  Combine the two with brownies and people will be begging to come to next year’s Labor Day party.

What is the best way to serve your guests?  You could call out orders like a restaurant but, the better way is to serve them buffet style.  Not only is it a buffet –and real Americans love buffets –but, the buffet is similar to an assembly line; a fitting motif for Labor Day.

And what about entertainment?  The best holiday parties have movies or TV to go along with them.  And if you’re like me, coming with things to say for an entire party can be quite difficult.

Before showing movie however, your guests might like a trivia game with Labor Day questions.  Aside from that, go ahead and turn on the TV.

If you want to show your guests a movie, I recommend Office Space or Trading Places.  Or, if you want to be very American and show your guests a TV marathon, go with The Office Season 1.

The best way to schedule an event such as this awesome Labor Day party is as follows:

  1. Arrivals and greetings
  2. Door prizes (if applicable)
  3. Dinner (if doing a marathon, start it now)
  4. Games (forgo if doing a marathon)
  5. Dessert
  6. Movie (again, if not doing a marathon. If you are  doing one, this is the end of the party

 

So there you have it, how to throw the best Labor Day party ever!

Did I leave out a few menu items?  Or is the schedule a little off?  Let me know if it, let’s talk about it.